A Tangled Mess

Tomorrow my roommate will be turning 22. Our close friend planned a surprise party for her at midnight tonight and wanted all of her roommates to come. I love my roommate, and I love my friend, but I mentioned that I might not be able to come because I needed to write a paper. I thought this would be an understood and excused reason for missing the nights festivities, but apparently I really hurt my friend's feelings by telling her I wasn't going to go. I am not skipping out because I don't love my roommate or don't care for my friend, its simply that I have way too much to do this week and don't know if I can get it all done, especially if I don't have a little bit of sleep in between the madness. At first I was frustrated that my friend was upset with me for not coming. I thought, but why? Doesn't she understand the huge pressure I am under this week? And then I realized, that's the problem. I never clearly communicated to her what the pressures were that I was feeling and what all the compounding factors added up to, that made me need to skip out on this party. Because I didn't communicate well with my friend, her feelings were hurt at my seemingly insensitive response and in return I was hurt that she would harbor harsh feelings toward me for not going when I had legitimate reasons to forgo my invitation. Oh how important it is to be clear and honest in communication!